Reunioning

It is a joy to be together with family.  I come from a very large family, together with my parents, my siblings and their children there are over 100 of us, and logistically it is like parting waters to make an event and photo like this happen.  It only happens every other year but it is worth it.

I honestly cannot say we all found joy in the planning of such event though.  My mom continually  responded peaceably, and with the same sense of regret most moms get when their children are not getting along she'd say, "it is really hard to please so many people".  But somewhere along the escalating emails and phone calls leading up to the event someone simply stated:  "Come what may and love it."  So that became the reunion theme.

The night before the official reunion started my mom and dad found themselves with a house full of 50 members of their family who after traveling so far just couldn't wait to visit with them.  So my mom did her magic and in less than 30 minutes had a meal for all them!  From then on it was non-stop activities, feeding and visiting.

In the middle of it my brother Jeff asked, "so Al, are you having fun?".   My response was, "define fun."  I know it was "fun" for my children but honestly with so much action and activity I craved more intimate conversation with those who I have not seen in a couple of years.

We joked about setting up an activity like speed dating where everyone has a set time to catch up with one individual then when the buzzer sounds you move to the next person.  Jeff then said, "well, are you enjoying yourself?", of course the answer was "yes" and I then shared with him one of my favorite moment of the reunion, it is actually pictured below.  It is of my two daughters dancing with his two daughters in Oma and Opa's driveway. These girls who just days previous were as good as strangers to each others found instant connection, Maryanna and Elise, and Clara and Melissa.  While the adults were fumbling with the logistics of where to go, and when and what to wear or bring, these girls embraced each other and sang and danced as if they were a couple of lost souls who have once again found each other, it was like a soul reunion.  That was a joyful moment, enough to make the long trip worth it. 

And then there were the parties.  First at Airborne Sports where both the kids and adults jumped and bounced till we were red in the face and sore in the legs.

There were also a couple of pool parties with yummy catered food and enough children splashing in the pools to required all parents to be on guard in addition to hired life guards.    

There was also a party at the park with music, dancing, arts and crafts, games, ice blocking and giant sub sandwiches.

My brother Doug surprised everyone and arranged for a snow cone truck to show up.  There was a long line....................

and many happy children.

The family photo was taken the next day downtown next to temple square.

After James got to take off with his cousins to explore the new City Creek Center.

While the younger ones trailed around Temple Square with us parents.

Later in the afternoon my parents hosted a fancy reception for everyone at the Lion House, in the very same room I attended a reception for my grandparents when I was a child.  Lion house rolls are famous, so fluffy and delicious, and whipped honey butter makes it almost a dessert, I had three all nicely smothered.
 

By this time George had had his fill of reunioning, he independently removed his socks and shoes and found an empty space of carpet by our table and went right to sleep.  I just let him be, and with the others off in the company of their cousins I enjoyed sitting at an almost empty table with just Paul eating our rolls with plenty of whipped honey butter.

And then there was the down time, we did find bits of it.  My mom was concerned that not everyone got reunion t-shirts so she set up a silk screen station in her basement.

Down there in the basement my mom told me about her college days running for student body secretary of University of Utah.  She built a silk screen to create posters for her campaign, she said it made real crisp posters, she got her name out there and she won.

Meanwhile the kids spent most their down time passing around a handful of ipads and iphones.  They were good at taking turns and it is amazing how many eyes can hover over such a small screen.  I suppose sharing small screens makes for close cousins.

Probably my favorite activity of the reunion was bonding with my teen aged nieces.  My mom asked me to arrange and facilitate a craft for this older crowd to enjoy.  So I went to a local bead shop and got supplies for them all to make leather wrap bracelets.  With their hands kept busy the digital devices were set down and what we enjoyed was a women's circle a kin to what our shared women ancestors may have enjoyed while cooking, quilting, sewing or weaving.

I shared with them some of the wonderful, horrible, embarrassing and magical moments of my teen aged years and they shared with me their visions, goals and aspirations for the future. There was a connection and I left with the realization that we share the same blood and the significance of that.  Oh how I love these young women even more now!
  

As I do everyone who I was able to see and reconnect with.  I am so grateful to my parents for having a large family and the efforts they still make in encouraging us, despite the number of individuals and distances between us, to remain a close and connected family.

We came and we loved it!

A Piece of the Peace

Contention levels have been on the rise recently.  Maybe it's being cooped up in close quarters for the winter or maybe it is just our humanness.  In most cases it is the boys vs. the girls (even mommy and daddy having at it at times), sometimes it is as innocent as an inconsolable baby at dinner-making-time that robs us of our peace,  or something as silly as one person merely looking at another that sparks rage.

Just like a "good mom" I intervene.  But honestly, I often get drawn in with my own emotions and in those cases the the tension only escalates.  

Yelling at child to say they're sorry or to be nice to another sibling is kind of like forcing a child to smile, sure they can physically move their muscles but there is no smile when there is no emotion behind it.  Just like William in our Christmas card photo below - after 20 some tries he just did not have it in him, he was done with the photo shoot and you can see it clearly on his face.  Just so, there is no real resolution between two parties unless heart is involved.  For that reason I decided sometimes it was better to back off a little and then realized it was better for a child not to say "I'm sorry" unless they really felt it.  And in the end when they finally felt it, sometimes taking hours to surface, I discovered the feelings to be tearfully sincere (even in older boys).

Backing off and observing (even just observing myself) is powerful.  It is the catalyst to change because then we can recognize what it is we need to change.  In our case at this time we recognized the need for greater unity, for working as a whole.  That just as there is not one person at fault for all the contention, there is not one person capable of holding all the peace.  We each are a piece of the peace.  

We assembled our picture puzzle, read some scriptures on peace and discussed how it related to similar themes and interests in their lives.  

Often as we thumb through world news the children throw out their "why"s relating to the confusion of war and hostility.  On this family home evening I threw the "why"'s back at them....."why do we have to be at war amongst ourselves"? and then asked  "how can we ever expect or hope for world peace unless we can first find in our home"?   

We also gave examples from the football field and explained how teams are designed to work together.  One powerful comparison for the boys was: "criticizing your sister's singing is just like knocking down your own teammate just yards from a touchdown".  That was an "ah-ha" moment.  We huddled together as a team and ended up in a giant group hug (except for George who took that as an unsupervised opportunity to quickly crawl away and make a noisy mess).

Is our family now perfect?  No way! just tonight there was an episode of someone throwing a few cantaloupe rinds across the kitchen.  But we are taking this "season" of discomfort and contention as an opportunity for growth and learning.  

So I have since found it within myself to respond as peacefully as I can to quarrelling.  Instead of frantically yelling out "stop fighting" or  "why isn't anyone listening to me"! I can calmly say "be a peace maker", or "please be a piece of the peace".  When I feel my blood start to boil just whispering "peace" to myself has been effective.

We saw success on Sunday.  We got home from church late in the afternoon during a time when Henry is usually napping.  He fell asleep on the short ride home and was so mad to be woken up and unbuckled by not his mother but his brother.  He kicked and screamed all over the front hall with his down puffy coat still buttoned.  He was so mad at me for not getting him out myself that I was unable to console him.  Paul joked out, "quick we need some peace"!  Peter's fast little legs came trotting to the rescue with a sippy cup of milk and a funny little Thomas the Tank Engine tune to his lips, Henry was soon contented and Peter was praised as a peace maker.  

I may not be able to change the world but I can certainly change my heart, and any heart at peace is an important piece to the peace.  That is the lesson I wish to instill and practice in our home.  It is my hope not just to be a patriot of peace myself but raise a houseful of them along side me - for now, that is my contribution to world peace.     

Week of October 3 as told by William's camera

Reviewing Arrow of Light requirements with James - multitasking

Lost and found toys

Rode bikes to the Nature Center

Visited a Peregrine Falcon

Observed a bumble bee

Walked in the woods

Begged Clara to wear her new coat

Got friendly with some Canadian Geese at Gallup Park

Visited Detroit's Mexican Village

William's attempted self portrait

Watched Football at Nanny and Poppy's

Nanny made a delicious pumpkin pie

Paul's guest post

I forgot to post notice here of the essay Paul wrote in celebration of the family on Chocolate on my Cranium.  Cocoa had contacted me several months ago to participate in this event but the stress of trying to heal Henry had worn me down to being uninspired.  

Late at night while I was too tired from cooking everything from scratch Paul stepped in and took the assignment.  He is not a blogger but just a natural writer  - he does it for fun and as part of recording our family's history.  Either way I think he needs to write more because it is always a joy to read, even as much as the old high school love notes.  

So check out his post and all the other great contributions in this great celebration of the family.

Family Reunion 2010

This is my immediate family - brothers and sisters with their families, total we add up to 100+ people.  With so many people we were able to pull our talents and resources together to make this a great event, it was more than memorable!

The festivities started last Thursday night at Cheryl's where she hosted a cookout and swim party.  Friday night the adults participated in a temple session and then small reception at the Lion House where my parents had their reception 50 years ago.

Saturday was non-stop.  First a carnival at the park..... everyone in their reunion t-shirts, the colorful blend participated in games, crafts, soccer, ice blocking, and more.

My contribution was designing and ordering the T-shirts.  The challenge was coming up with a design universal for all ages and sizes.  With the help of wordle I created a word collage that included everyone's name and to keep things interesting I got them printed on a variety of colored T's at shirts illustrated in UT .  As much as I enjoy clothing design this project was big enough to convince me that I'm not yet at a stage where I could start my own business.

Saturday's celebration continued into the evening at the Joseph Smith Building in downtown Salt Lake City.  Once the professional photos were through (it is not that easy to capture such a crowd) we enjoyed a nice dinner then crazy dancing (with a baby sleeping on my back).  The other favorite activity was dressing up silly for the rented photo booth.  There is nothing like having a party with the people you love most.

The night resulted in a large group of over tired kids.

 

The reunion came to a close after a large Sunday dinner and family night hosted in my parents backyard. 

When it was all over the kids asked....when are we going to do that again?  It is great to be a part of something great!

Celebrating 50 Years!

Our family of 100+ people have been gathered together all weekend celebrating my parents 50th wedding anniversary.  Here is the tribute I presented to them at the reception last night.  But since it is impossible to talk over such a crowd comprised of mostly young children I thought I'd post it here for my parents and those who love them to enjoy.

Mom and Dad -

We have all come together to honor you at this special time.  As you sit here you may wonder at how so many years could have passed so quickly.  Or perhaps you just gaze out at this large gathering, in awe of what you have created, day by day, together over the last 50 years. 

Our hearts full of gratitude for the covenant you made to each other in the Logan temple, for being part of this large, eternal family.  This is the greatest gift that you could have given to your children and to all of your posterity.

This covenant is based on love for one another and love for our Heavenly Father.  All of your actions over the years spoke of this love.

As children most of our days were started with the smell of fresh cologne mixed with cooked eggs and slightly burnt toast, the noise of Mom then scrapping the burned toast and Dad calling to her for morning prayer.  You always prayed close to the stove - maybe so the eggs wouldn’t burn also - but it was always on the carpeted area between the kitchen and dining room.  That patch of carpet wore smooth and grey over the years - both from running children but mostly because of your morning prayer routines.

We would sometimes eaves-drop on the prayers and hearing you plead for the needs of our family collectively and as children individually gave us a comfort and confidence to begin our days, knowing we were being watched over by loving parents. 

After each prayer you always exchanged kisses and “I love you’s” - so often that even Elvis our parrot said "I love you" every time he heard "amen."

This marriage had a storybook beginning, a brilliant nerd wooing the beautiful, and sought after socialite.  The story of your courtship was a favorite to be told often around the dinner table.

No amount of children, laundry or work ever got in the way of the romance that began in your courtship.  With the exception of one hay bailing anniversary at the farm, no July 7 was complete without roses as a commemoration of the beginning of our family.  Though the roses may have been placed on a counter covered in paperwork or dirty dishes to be cleared – they were there as a reminder to us children of the love and honor Dad felt for Mom. 

At 5:30 every weekday Mom would fluff her hair and reapply her bright red lipstick.  Why? Because, she'd say, “I want to look pretty for my boyfriend when he gets home”.

Friday evenings smelled of Chanel perfume, the perfume Dad picked up for Mom in Paris.  These date nights were set apart as an escape from the ongoing rigors of raising our family, and the Chanel meant that these dates were still special.  Especially beloved was the annual Providence Hospital ball when Dad would dress in a tux and Mom in a floor length skirt. 

Dad protected Mom and would not hear of even the youngest of children speak in ill tones to her.

Mom honored Dad and never criticized him – even when he shipped home yet another African animal trophy.

All that is good in us today is a result of your vision and what you strived to teach your children.  Your example of hard work, service and love now extends into the lives of your grandchildren - and soon great-grandchildren - as we all try to emulate your great legacy of faith and love.

A probing reporter once asked Dad: “what are your thoughts about planned parenthood?”  Dad looked him in the eyes with a deep, straight face and boldly declared… "this is the plan". 

What a great team you both made in executing this plan. Today we celebrate the fruits of your labor and the 50 beautiful years full of love and laughter.

2010 Tie Dyes

Nothing screams summer fun like tie dyes!  So here we all are having fun at the old family farm.

I lost count of how many shirts were completed but it was enough to use up 12 pints of dye - it was a great activity for the older children and their visiting cousins.

For as fun and free as it is though, I take my tie dying very seriously, thinking about it in advance, ordering the supplies from dharma trading , and making sure there are no children under the age of 8 disturbing the process.

If only I wasn't already so behind on laundry!  next time I'll put that in as part of the planning process.