'Tis the season to remember what matters most

We just barely got our tree up last weekend.  Peter, Henry and Paul chopped one down at a Christmas tree farm not too far down the road.  This year they picked out a white pine, the needles are soft and the smell is delicious! 

We don't own too many decorations, after so many moves it has been whittled down to just a few small boxes of ornaments and books.  Our exterior lights are minimal and since we were late in hanging them up there may have been some whispering among the community whether we celebrate Christmas, whether we are Christian.  So I sent Paul to the farm and garden shop around the corner and he picked up a fresh wreath for our front gate.  

As if it were that easy. Now whenever we pull up to our home I chuckle and say, "look kids, there's our pretty wreath, now everyone will know we are Christians".  The truth is I have learned more about being a Christian from my favorite neighbor who does not even put up a Christmas tree, she may not subscribe to organized religion but her authenticity and the size of her heart is unmatched even by the many I greet in Church hallways each Sunday.  Yes it is fun to decorate, and it is good for us to clean up and attend church on Sundays, but what matters most is what rests deep inside.     

Clara is enamored by the white pine, she's been collecting all the soft needles sniffing them and brushing them all over her face (you can see a bit of sap on her cheek).  She found some embroidery floss and made some tied bundled ornaments that she is selling for $1.00 a piece, she has requested that Santa bring her a store stand so she can sell them, that in addition to "something with a screen".  So far she hasn't sold many ornaments so she dropped the price to $.25 and Daddy bought a few.

The kids are always careful hanging their very own ornaments.  As George saw James and William's pile grow he cried, clenching his pig from 2010 and monkey from 2011 he asked, "where's all mine Mommy?"  

And on a side note I am laughing at Henry in this picture because I told him he could not decorate the tree until he put all his clothes away, he did not wan to miss out so instead of putting the clothes away upstairs he put them all on his body and went right to finding his ornaments.  

Decorating (and undecorating) the tree is an ongoing activity for the season.  I keep a basket nearby to pick up scattered ornaments.  This year we had a close call when while visiting with some friends I lost site of Charlie.  "Where's Charlie"? I sung out and soon heard him giggling beneath the tree, just as I pulled him up to me he reached out, grabbed a limb and pulled the whole tree down!  There was a crash and some shattering and instantly all the kids came running from all corners of the house.

As we cleaned up the mess we discovered the selected tree was really crooked.  Paul offered to get a new one but in the end we decided that if we twisted the weighted side towards the corner it would remain safe.  This however exposed the less desirable side of the tree, and I reminded myself, once again, I'm not in the business of putting on a show.

It is simply the company of children and kittens that I keep around this tree and to them, it is magic.

And now we are waiting for the sky to let down a bit of its own magic, "almost" William tells me.

The most magical moments for me this season so far were the ones where I've been tuned in to what is real and what matters most.  The truth is I struggle with the "Christmas Crazies", the burden and distraction of buying, ordering and even the over the top hand makings for Christmas.   I tell myself "I'm creating magic", "my children will remember this forever", "we'll have a picture perfect Christmas", but that is a lie, everything tangible about this holiday is only an illusion of what matters most.  The real gifts are the moments and feelings that cannot be wrapped with a bow and cannot even be captured in a photo, it is hard for me to give proper words, it is in the simple making of eye contact and creating heart connections.  That is what's real, that is what matters most, and it is not easy.

Living on a farm has been a gift to our family.  My best remedy for the "Christmas crazies" has been simply shutting down the computer, stepping outside for fresh air, checking into the sky and visiting the animals.

Our family is far from holding much musical talent but we make it a practice to sing together because even when it does not sound good it feels good.  We keep a hymn book in the milking room and in recent weeks the boys and I have been practicing our favorite Christmas hymns as we milk.  The song "Away in a Manger" is most poignant to sing in barn in the company of the animals.  Within those old stone walls we feel an outpouring of spirit, a daily reminder of what is real and what matters most.

It is not easy to break patterns, sometimes I question what it means to be "normal" and when it was that I jumped off that train.  Our Christmas traditions are changing, we are shifting them to align more with what matters most to us.  To allow it I have battled much within myself, but with a step outside and a drink of the sky I am back to where my heart lies, and there is much joy and freedom in following ones heart, even when it may look different from the rest of the world.  

Catching Up

I'm not sure what happened to November, it happened too quick, and in our favor the temperatures have remained mild enough to do some catching up both inside and out.

In one weekend Paul chopped a huge pile of wood to fuel our home for winter.

William and I also tended to the bees.

Too late into spring we planted an experimental crop of oats, it failed and was taken over by wild mustard, to our advantage that patch of wild mustard being cold hardy allowed the bees to collect pollen even through November!  I'm not sure what the honey will taste like, honey mustard? But thrilled they've been able to collect a bit more before the cold really sets in.

William and I sat and studied them awhile, watching their collective effort and cooperation was just the motivation I needed to move onto some big family projects.

That huge pile of wood had to be split and stacked, I explained to everyone my observation of the bees and that we needed everyone to help where they could.  We worked until dark with everyone but little Charles lending a hand.

Cleaning the goat pen was also on the list of to do's and I was so impressed and very grateful for the hardworking boys in our family, but that was not until after I yelled at them all to leave their stinky clothes in the pole barn and take a shower.

Meanwhile we let the goats help us clean out the garden.  We rented a young buck for breeding and I over heard a few funny little prayers....."please bless Joe the buck to do a good job mating".  And so we shall find out after a blood test in about a month.

In other animals news I survived an evening of the cows getting loose during a week that Paul was traveling and there is too much to say about that in this tiny space.  Just know that it happened.

We also took our first lamb in for processing and I have since become a more mindful, grateful and reverent meat eater.  My kind neighbor has been sharing all sorts of delicious lamb recipes with me and our favorite so far was the lamb kofta.  It was Maryanna's turn to bless this specific meal and I was touched when she called the animal by name and thanked him for offering his body to make our bodies stronger.

We decided to use as much as the animal as we could and salt cured the skin and it is in now the process of being finished into a fleece rug.  That too was an experience that was had while Paul was out of town, I could not have done it without the help of my big boys.  They felt like Bear Grylls and I felt like a real pioneer woman.  I don't need to go into the messy details, just know that we've become braver than I could ever have imagined.

On a lighter note, the favorite chair by the fire place inside had enough wear in last month to expose the inner foam.  Our babysitter Peggy helped me tear it apart and saved the day in helping me finish it up when I realized I had no idea what I was doing.  Here is the before:

Below is the after, already getting much use.  I hope the new fabric holds up well because that is not a project I look forward to repeating.  I also painted two bedrooms and realized the difficulty of completing any project with a house full of little ones running around.  

We also celebrated another birthday - this farm boy William was thrilled to get horseback riding lessons and a new bee suit for his birthday.  And he is still asking me when I'm going to surprise him with his very own peacocks............  

Paul and I celebrate 14 years together!  He treated me to some homemade cream brulee with farm fresh ingredients.

And Clara lost her first tooth.  She woke up one morning with a loose tooth and gently pulled it out herself before bedtime.  

Now with shorter days so much time is spent inside.  I have to say it gets really loud and really messy, so I'm still experimenting with different ways to allow it and different ways contain it.  But more than anything I wish to enjoy it, for that reason I've stepped away from social media almost completely this last month and it has been refreshing.  I disabled my facebook account completely and when it was requested why I simply stated "to give more to the faces and relationships that matter most to me" - simply catching up.   

Small Town Halloween

 This year's Halloween was a joyful and simple one.  There was no race between the sewing machine and time because I declared early that I was not making costumes.  Charles got to wear the skeleton suit that was painted for Peter's first Halloween 8 years ago.  Just like Peter he is a skinny baby so the suit suits him.

William was some sort of a Jedi guy, I made an exception to sewing this one because of his enthusism.  The hooded jacket was made out of a curtain picked up at the thrift store and I was so impressed that in his desire to finish it up he actually sewed half of it himself!  I needed to admit to William that I threw away all the light sabers in a moment of mom rage after someone got a black eye a few years ago.  He was disappointed but made due with a swimming noodle, pvc pipe and duct tape. 

  

Maryanna pulled together a cowgirl ensemble.  By Halloween night however it was completely soiled so she then pulled out the old Sacajawea costume.

Clara got this witch costume from a friend and tried really hard to be a scary, that was almost impossible because she is too sweet.

We found this great dinosaur costume at thrift store for Henry and he liked it enough to wear it around for the day. He said his penguin costume was warmer though so switched into it for the night of Halloween.

Peter is a football guy almost everyday so his costume was no surprise to me.  What did surprise me was his quick change before heading out to the neighbors, he went back to the army costume because he knew our Veteran neighbors would appreciate it, and they did.

James was a mad scientist and used a piece of coal from the wood stove to cover his face and goggles.  Everyone thought that was a good idea and have been decorating their faces daily ever since.

George was a chubby robot and just like Henry has been wearing it daily as outwear.

I threw together a witch costume and even painted my face with a green face crayon.  

 There is so much to love and not love about Halloween.  Each year as we create a space in our home for celebrating I am faced with the dilemma of keeping our festivities in line with our values.  What I value are experiences that nurture both body and soul and with regard to Halloween it  has been our experience that candy (even a little) = unhappy and soon to be sick children, and similarly bringing attention to the creepiness of Halloween = weeks of nightmares.  For this reason we opted out of our church's trunk or treating activity and even decided ahead of time that we would not be trick or treating the night of Halloween.  Some may call me a kill joy for this decision and to them I say we obviously do not share the same definition of joy.

Keeping on the joyful side of Halloween I was thrilled to hear of the tradition of a parade our small town hosts the Saturday before Halloween.  

There were big tractors and floats

The local high school marching band performed in costumes

And it was small enough that had I not been wearing a long witch dress with big black heels I would have march along with them pulling a wagon of smiling dressed up children, next year.

Later that evening our neighbors hosted a neighborhood cook out complete with a huge bonfire and Christmas lights strung among the trees.  We engaged in warm conversation and sat close to the fire while as we ate savory chili under the stars.

Halloween morning I was nervous the kids would turn on me for the decision not to go trick or treating.  It never came up, in fact, it made no difference to them, they were buzzing around begging to carve pumpkins and begging to lick the batter off the spoon from the pumpkin muffins.

We carved 12 pumpkins in total and during the gutting Peter was careful to save seeds from the best of them while the rest were prepared for roasting.  While they were engaged in carving I quickly went to the itunes store and put together a fun Halloween mix and for over 3 hours they carved they jammed to Purple People Eater, Ghostbusters, Monster Mash, and Chicken Monkey Duck.

Among the pumpkins there was a winged helmet, the Star Wars logo, Boba Fett, Frankenstien (which Peter named Matt McGloin), a ghost, Hello Kitty, several different faces and a few simply bored with holes.

Thinking of all our kind neighbors we thought it might still be fun to dress up and visit them with our own offerings of pumpkin seeds and muffins, Maryanna then quickly went to work on hand drawn cards.  The kids did pick out 3 pieces of candy and bag of popcorn from the visits but the source of their joy was seeing our neighbors and their excitement over the costumes,muffins and Halloween cards. 

Though the temperatures were low, this was a warm and memorable Halloween for our family.  We have successfully broken mainstream tradition and carved out a new way to celebrate this holiday in a joyful way.