How to survive a really long winter

Not sure what happened to the original words I composed for this post but I'm guessing a 2 year old banged a little too hard on the keyboard in a moment I stepped away.  I hoped to record the feelings and activities from this past winter - but this morning it is spring so I'm having a hard time retrieving the exact words. In this case I will allow the pictures to share the bulk of the story.

This winter was long, it was snowy, the van got stuck several times, the boys were iced over knee down after daily farm chores and hearts were heavy on the day our two ducks did not survive.

There were a variety of snow forts and snow people sculpted and the girls dug a snow cave with several holes and named it the "Holestel".The kids were cooperative in sharing two pairs of cross-country skis and the bees survived! 

Paul relieved us from an unexpected toilet episode and he also cleared lots of snow.  We celebrated birthdays and Valentines and it seems everyday was a costume party.  Oma and Opa treated us with a quick visit, we treated ourselves to indoor s'mores by the fire and on the longest of days spread out indoor picnics.  

We shed tears of gratitude as we feasted on our grass fed beef and spent nights crowded by the fire dreaming of summer projects and future farm plans.

The girls painted through pages of watercolor paper (Maryanna is the artist of the new blog header) while the older boys quietly dove into their individual passions - James performed physics experiments, Peter planned out the garden and started 85 tomato seedlings and William took thousands of photos for stop motion Lego brick films.  As for the younger boys, they took to sword fighting, begging for shows, and making messes whenever the opportunity allowed.  They were harder to contain but the baby wrap hammocks under the table did amuse them for one full day.

I stole away as many naps as I could and cooked pots and pots of warm rice pudding and even more of broth.

We watch with delight the daily growth and bloom of the amaryllis.  We also watched my belly grow and wondered of the new soul that will soon be a part of us.  Brother or sister?  there were many prayers begging for each and honestly a few punches thrown in disagreement over what this sibling may be.

Lastly, the hauling of wood and feeding the fire was constant.  It seems so long ago that we sweated through our 4th of July holiday splitting and stacking wood.  I am amazed at the extremes of the seasons, each with its challenges, joys and beauties.

The snowsuits and boots are washed and packed away, lost mittens have been found and mud boots are lined up on the side porch.  

I am grateful to for the fullness we experienced this winter and also grateful to once again see patches of grass, hear birds sing and welcome spring.

  
  

In Gratitude

Yesterday, we had exciting plans to head out in search of a Christmas tree and bring all the holiday boxes down from the barn; however, before 12 pm, the mood of the day took a quick turn on me, and there was an immediate call to rein in and find a quiet corner for peace.

It was late into the evening the night before, that Paul had informed me of some shaking news from his cousin, as a young husband and father his cousin had been diagnosed with cancer.  Though we are responding with great hope for his healing and are supporting him with our prayers, this news coincided with my sister Julie's birthday and I found myself blindsided with a wave of grief, anger and rage that I have not felt in years since her passing.

In this state, I was unable to hold space for the festivities planned or even the simplest of tasks that are required of me on a typical day. Instead, I gave myself permission to process as needed in order to heal this resurfacing wound. For me, I recognize the importance of allowing myself to feel fully what I am feeling, without judging myself or stuffing it away further into my soul.  I recognize the importance of reaching out to a compassionate listener, and most importantly quieting my soul for whisperings of comfort and truth from the Spirit. 

My take away from this experience has flooded me with a gratitude that returned me to what really matters in this life, it has shifted me from a place in "the Christmas crazies" that plaques our society to a space of simple peace.

Will we still decorate for Christmas?  Of course! And we will do so slowly.  Will I finish all the planned crafts, baking and sewing? no. And does it matter? Of course not.  Will there be presents wrapped? Yes! though fewer, they will be selected with the individual in mind. 

Before heading to bed last night Paul requested my Christmas "wish list". Honestly he spoils me so I have to be careful of what I wish for, I gave it some thought and even checked a few online vendors for ideas.  But in the state of gratitude and peace I was experiencing I could not think of anything that I really wanted.  I was reminded of a recent quote from Elder Bednar, "A grateful person is rich in contentment. An ungrateful person suffers in the poverty of endless discontentment (see Luke 12:15)."

I responded with "less presents, and more presence".  I say that to myself as well, it is so much easier to buy and wrap something than to be fully available to the ones we love. And the days in which we offer gifts are not reserved for one season, gifts of love and presence may be offered at every interpersonal interaction that greet us daily.  Is that not how Christ lived his life? 

To enter the Christmas season with presence and gratitude lightens me and it is my hope that I may not be swayed, that I may be wise in allowing space for a daily remembering.  That I might recognize that the blessings in my life are abundant, and the blessings of the knowledge of our purpose here on earth and role and mission of the Savior Jesus Christ as offered to all who have ever lived, is priceless. 

   

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                         

The joy of finding community

Over the last couple of months we have enjoyed the company of a handful of other homeschool families.  Though we may vary in our personal philosophies and backgrounds it is the desire to teach our children sustainable life skills that brings us together each week.  We have taken turns hosting work projects and crafts and built comfortable friendships along the way.  I am especially grateful for the shared wisdom and collaboration that is so generously passed around the adult circle.

Here is a report of what has kept us busy:

Potato digging.  I was told this was more fun than an Easter egg hunt.     

Fire roasting tomatoes.  The kids collected wood for the fire and assisted in washing and sorting the tomatoes.  

Dried apples.  We experimented with hanging them in the sun, by the fire and in a dehydrator.  

Compost building.  The kids helped with the garden clean up and learned about layering browns and greens.  The best part was dancing on it! 

 Seed paper.  The kids spent a couple weeks collecting seeds from their gardens and added it to a paper pulp mix.  After the pulp dried they buried them in flower beds and also gave some away as gifts.

Halloween play.  This was my favorite activity because it was completely inspired and directed by the children.  It was the vision and writing of an eleven year old girl and the enthusiasm of the other children that made this event happen.  The script, costumes, and stage were all assembled without the help of any adult.  They performed it in the tube of our barn on Halloween night and are already working on a spring sequel.

Meanwhile the older crowd spent most of the evening pressing apple cider.  With a nourishing pot luck and so much activity no one missed the candy and we all agreed it was one of our favorite Halloweens ever! 

Harvest lanterns.  Throughout the fall the kids have been collecting and pressing flowers and leaves.  We also gathered feathers and used beeswax and modge podge to stick them to the glass jars.

In celebration of Martinmas we had a warm potluck at the park and listened to the story of St. Martin.  When the sun had set we walked through the woods guided by our lanterns and quietly singing songs along the way.  Little George all stuffed in his snow suit insisted that we sing "lead me, guide me, walk beside me, help me find the way".  In contrast Maryanna was running yards ahead belting out the song "This little light of mine".  This was another evening to remember and hopefully repeat.     

  Everyone brings something unique to this group and what a blessing this has been to all involved.  I hope to report of many more great activities throughout this next season.