Hurting and Healing Words

Upon pulling out of our driveway in Michigan and only a few feet on our way out to Utah I slipped in an old conference CD, this was to set a calm and pleasant tone for the rest of the journey.

The first talk we listened to was Elder Holland's, The Tongue of Angels.  That was a great one to start with and I believe because of it I graciously resisted the urge to back seat drive.  Over the miles our conversation and comments became sort of a game, kind of like Pollyanna's glad game with points both positive and negative depending upon the words that escaped our mouths.   This made all the difference in traveling in a van full of young children.  This made all the difference when just an hour later we discovered the CD player was jammed and all that was left to entertain us (besides our "glad game") was the radio which didn't always get reception through the long mountain passes.

I thought a lot about that talk today.  You see I took Henry back to the allergist for a follow up, I took him in hopes of encouragement and understanding, all to help facilitate his healing.  The Dr. was straight forward in discussing the situation and knowing I had several children tried to offer suggestions on how to fit Henry into our regular eating routines.  We also discussed whether it was a good idea to get the other children tested as well.  I was still probing for answers as he made his way to the door.  His eyes danced around the four little children crammed in the corner of the room with me, Maryanna balancing on one foot on a chair, Clara curled up under the chair playing with her stuffed dog, Henry scribbling on a Magna doodle on one half my lap and George on the other half chewing on his thumb making all sorts of cooing sounds.  At the moment I did have my hands full, perhaps I looked a little frustrated about the allergies but instead of encouragement and before he said "have a great day, we'll check him next year" he left me with ..........."look lady, you did this to yourself".  Did he really just say that!  Why would he say that?  That really hurt - I was already feeling a bit of guilt about Henry's allergies.

I don't share this story out of rage and I'm not seeking any pity, I only share it as a learning experience.

I remained calm as I corralled the kids towards the exit.  Checking out I gently questioned why I was being charged a $50 co-pay when there was no exam but just a short discussion of lab results.  In my heart I told myself never to return to that office again and to be honest I really wanted to cry but decided to hold it until the parking lot.

Before I bustled my way out of the waiting room a very large women got up in front of me and declared "let me get the door for you".   That was kind.  That made me feel a bit better.  I suppose you could say that healed me a bit.  On my way still, I pushed the stroller and pulled my train of toddlers through the parking lot only to be stopped by another very kind woman.  She took a good look over all the sweet little faces in my company and slapping her hand on her cheek let out "look at these four beautiful children.....you are so lucky, you are so blessed".  Usually when someone says this I squeak out a shy "thank you" but this woman just healed my hurt, she deserved more.  I looked her in the eyes and said, "thank you so much for saying that", if only she knew what had been reversed by her simple kind words.

The poor doctor, with all his years of training to heal did just the opposite.  I thought about the way my Dad practiced medicine and wished that all doctors could be as kind and wise to their patients as he was.

These two women who I practically bumped into, perhaps they were in the medical offices seeking healing for themselves, little did they know they of their own capacity to heal.  I suppose many of us are unaware of the power our words can have for good or bad.

Elder Holland suggested, "Our words, like our deeds, should be filled with faith and hope and charity, the three great Christian imperatives so desperately needed in the world today. With such words, spoken under the influence of the Spirit, tears can be dried, hearts can be healed, lives can be elevated, hope can return, confidence can prevail".  What more does the world need than these?  I am determined to do my part.