Picture Perfect Moments

It has been a long week so don't let this lovely photo fool you.  

Paul's been traveling midweek for the third week in a row and I'm simply tired.  I've been doing all the milking and the truth is, by the end of the night and again in the morning I have to push myself out the door to do it.  But in the end I'm actually finding it to offer a short break and relief from the more noisy routine that happens inside.  

Maryanna is my morning milking partner and the way she sings to the animals (goats, chickens and kittens) simply melts me.  I caught this glimpse of her hugging the goats in the morning sunlight as I was mixing some herbs for the goats, I instantly dashed inside for my camera.  It was worth the dash, a bit of spilled milk and fresh grim on my camera.

I am finding this life on the farm, even with all the added work, supports me, it fills me in little moments as pictured above in a way that I personally could not find elsewhere. 

Last night when I thought I could not wash another dish, pick up another toy, mediate another sibling quarrel or comfort my crying newborn I lashed out on the phone to Paul, I said I simply could not handle it all on my own.  Of course he was quick to finish that call but I had to head out to do the milking anyway.  

Good thing because there is something about milking that sets my heart right again.  Maybe because if I'm not still the goats might kick and knock the milk over, maybe it is the warmth of their bodies next to mine or perhaps it is the mindless and rhythmical task of using my hands.  Whatever it is I'm getting more than just milk out of the process.  

It is cold here again, so cold that the wood stove is filled and burning.  The beautiful dogwood tree that was photographed just one post previous lost all its fresh bloom with the shocking drop in temperature.  I'm so glad I caught that brief moment on camera.  

A few nights ago as I was milking I noticed it was so cold that William had curled up in a pile of fresh straw to warm up, he looked as if he was ready to fall asleep, it seemed so natural that it didn't phase me at first but then I wished I had my camera to capture it.  

Then there was last night, the night that I made it very clear to Paul over the phone that I had enough of his traveling for now.  I stepped outside to do the milking and on the way back the moon and sky were so brilliant, I would have snapped a photo of it but I didn't have my camera and I don't know how to use night settings anyway.  So I will simply try to share with words that picture perfect moment, how the clear night sky filled me and how it was the stars that reminded me that I was not as alone in my struggles as I had thought.  It was as if they were appearing out of no where.  I sat there with Henry and we drank it in until I remembered James had been left inside with a fussy baby.  With a still heart and peaceful breath back into me it took little effort to get both Henry and little Charles settled down for the night.  

Clara on the other hand was still resisting sleep.  Instead of fighting it I invited her to keep me company while I finished the dishes. As reward when I was through we bundled up and took another drink of the night sky.  She had much to say about what we observed but I was too tired to remember the details.  It was another picture perfect moment that will simply be recorded with just a few words.

My life is not perfect, I suppose I could pretend it was by only posting beautiful photos but the truth is I have many ugly, boring, cluttered and out of focused photos to prove otherwise.  Besides, it is not a collection of photos that make up a beautiful life, it is moments themselves, whether recorded or not, because it is the moments, and how we choose to respond and appreciate them, that make up who we are becoming.  And who we were, are and are to become make up a life worth living, picture or no picture that is what makes life beautiful.