A return to confidence

It has been just over two years that we've lived here on the farm.  In many ways my experience has been foreign, like one who has moved to another continent, maybe even planet.  The transition, though beautiful, has not been easy, I have been stretched beyond my knowledge and capacity.  Because of unrealistic expectations (especially in the garden), I have too easily allowed the wallowing that often follows a stumble.  

Somewhere around the latter weeks of August I was offered a return to confidence.  

One of my farm neighbors and an amazing bee mentor casually  mentioned her plans to wear her mother's wedding dress for her upcoming wedding.  Having worked in a bridal shop years ago I was instantly curious.  She began describing the dress but quickly slipped into the immediate need for assistance with it, and with limited time and money she was turned down by a few local seamstresses.  Out of my mouth, without a thought of the miserable pregnancy symptoms I was experiencing and every other responsibility that occupied a normal day, jumped the words, "I can do it!"

She came over the following evening and tried on the dress that her mom wore in the 70's.  It almost fit her perfectly but needed some updating, so we agreed my services would be traded for bee help in the future.  

I took her measurements and drafted a new bodice.  I felt rusty with the drafting and continually prayed that I would remember all that I had learned so many years ago.  I felt as if I slipped into a trance while working and was spared from the usual headache and disaster that can accompany a bridal gown project (only one who has worked in a bridal shop knows the intensity of such a job). 

The fabric felt as butter in my hands and somehow they just made it happen.

After a final fitting the two of us worked together on hand stitching the lace.  I so enjoyed the company and conversation, we talked about bees, farming, marriage and children.  

Here is the final dress and I can honestly say we were both thrilled!  I have received so much expert advice and help from experienced neighbors that it felt good to know I had something to offer back.  
  

I am far from a master seamstress but it was a good reminder that my skills are of worth.  It is also good to remind myself of the road I walked to gain those skills, it did not happen over night and in my head I can recall countless flopped sewing projects along the way.

I don't sew much these days because my times calls me where it is needed most. And frankly, I'm starting to lean into a more practical lifestyle where drawers and closets and laundry piles are not spilling with excess.  That said where there is a need I find much joy involving the creative process to fill it.

Just last week I pulled out the old bin of maternity clothes.  For some reason my body rejected every pair of maternity skinny jeans and fitted to the skin shirt or dress.  I've done that and I feel with this 9th baby I have nothing to prove and seek only comfort along the way.  That invited a need for a few more maternity pieces so I pulled down a bin of knit fabric and in less than two hours was able to assemble this knit top and skirt.  There are plans for a few more pieces but they will come when time allows.
    

The next project was finished past midnight the night before Clara's birthday.  It is an art bag for all her new art supplies.  I drafted the pattern and there are some definite glitches that had me wishing I had never begun the project to begin with (at least that is how I was feeling at 1 am).    

I pushed through it and finally got the lining to cooperate (somewhat).  Clara loves it!  

Meanwhile........I am wondering when the day will come that the children respond with such enthusiasm over home-grown kale, potatoes and cabbage.