Because I love to talk

Paul and I enjoyed a very unromantic Valentine's outing today.  We took Charles to the pediatrician for his first visit then stopped by the local antique mall.  I suppose the antique mall could have been a bit romantic but Paul decided to stay in the van with the baby.   Maryanna and Clara were along for the outing so they followed me in to share in the joy of looking at junk.

I knew exactly what I was looking for today and found it at the first booth for $25.  It was a phone for my night stand and the fact that it was red made it a perfect Valentines gift. 

It is fun to call on a rotary phone but the real reason I purchased it is because I have the intention of freeing our bedroom from wireless devices.  I haven't read much on the subject but I also haven't been able to get it out of my mind since my midwife suggested it.  

I love to talk on the phone, so much more than texting but it probably is not a good idea to have a cell phone pressed to the ear for hours a day.   

So now that I'm using the old rotary phone for most my talking I need to learn all my favorite contact's # by heart, I don't know why that seems so impossible.  I must have had several #'s memorized in high school and college. 

And since we only had a few stationary phones in the house growing up I use to lay on my parents bed just like this to call my girlfriends, boyfriends and older sisters. Here I'm calling "my boyfriend" Paul out in his office trailer, because even though he is not too far out from the back door it is still amusing to hear his voice on the other end. 

Easing into it

I woke up to this photo posted onto facebook by Paul.

He was busy working late so dinner and bedtime were left solely in my hands for the first time since giving birth.  I was happy to have the simplicity of leftovers from a meal delivered the night before but the simple serving of it was disastrous (imagine screaming newborn + self served toddlers + food fight).  My mom was timely in returning a call to me in the middle of it, I begged her to admit motherhood was not easy.  She affirmed my frustration with a chuckle.

When we had eaten through the rest of the spaghetti and all the ranch dressing was wiped off the hands and out of the hair, I tucked them all in the easy way.  And that is what is pictured  above.

Easing out of the babymoon and into our normal rhythm has not been easy.  It's kind of been like the delicate dance one does when stepping into a too hot of bath, at first dip you instantly retract then try it again and again until you can comfortably keep your feet in.  That's where I am right now, I've got my feet in but not ready to fully submerge.

My bedroom has become the command center full of snacks, books, school work and toys.  By next week I hope to be knee deep in it and move the majority of the action back downstairs and maybe even
take a peak at the laundry.  

In the meantime it has been amusing to look back on the archives after Henry and George's birth here and here and realize where I'm at is actually very normal.  

Babymooning

Several weeks ago when my midwife asked me to commit to a week in bed after delivery I just laughed. "It's just not in my nature" I tried too explain......."it would be logistically impossible".  But in the end her wise counsel found sense in me and I realized all I really needed was permission to care for myself in  a way that I never allowed myself to before.

As mothers it is so easy to fall in the trap of caring for everyone but ourselves.  This trap can leave us empty with very little to offer anyone in the end.  We fool ourselves into playing the role of "Supermom" losing the best of what we have to offer in process of all the doing.  So right now after 9 months of growing a baby, I am allowing myself to just be, to do nothing else than rest in bed and fall in love with my baby.  I am now thoroughly convinced that every new mother needs a "babymoon".  

Thank you to my sister and Nanny and Poppy for caring for the other children to allow this beautiful week and thank you to Paul for waiting on me like a princess. 

If it wasn't for the regular delivery of meals in bed I would have lost all sense of time.  Paul has found his place in the kitchen and surprised me in his ability to arrange these feasts, and I suppose I have surprised him with my raging appetite barely leaving a crumb.  

I've gone through quarts of chicken broth, quarts of pregnancy tea, several cups of juice with floradix, 1/2 lb of chicken liver pate from Zingermans, a pot of lentil soup from a neighbor, a pitcher of fresh squeezed beet and carrot juice from another neighbor, cottage cheese, apples, celery with pumpkin seed butter, toast with butter, hash browns, fried ham, omelets with collards and raw cheese............ I have been very well nourished and I can already feel the difference in both myself and in little Charles.

In addition to resting and feasting I squeezed in a few netflix.  My favorite was the Saltmen of Tibet since it flowed at the same pace I've been moving all week.

Charles has a bit of jaundice so we've been taking turns sunning him in the window.  So this week has had the feel of a sunny vacation after all.  

The biggest treat for me this week was a warm herbal bath.  My midwife sells a prepared bag of herbs for the purpose of postpartum healing, included in this combination are the following: comfrey root, comfrey leaves, lavender, calendula, sea salt and a few drops of murrah essential oil.  These aid in healing bruises & tears, prevents infection and help dry out the baby's cord.  We steeped the herbs in a large pot for a few hours then strained them through a fine mesh colander right into the bath water.    

Overall it was simply soothing to both me and little Charles.  I love the way this bath woke him up to the world offering me expressions and personality beyond that of a baby only a few days old.  

The other children will soon be here.  I admit I'm starting to miss their energy and noise.  Next week may be a wild contrast to the lovely "babymmon", and though I'm in no position to be chasing them up and down the stairs there is something very comforting about being all together.  I've been pondering my strategy all week: fill my bed with kids, netflix, books, toys and snacks and I've already warned Paul to expect more than a few frantic calls out to his office trailer.

We are stepping into the unknown with another child in our care.......we may not be strong and brave adventurers who scale remote mountains but we are continually writing and living our own adventure story.  I am so happy to be doing it alongside Paul and grateful for the way he arranged this past week to help me regain both physical strength and clarity of mind.........because we all no there is no sense stepping out on to an adventure without them.     

Welcome Baby Boy!

Charles Earl, named affectionately after a great-grandfather and grandfather

arrived safely at home in the quiet of the night

January 30, 12:50 am

8 lbs, 14 oz  22 1/2 "long

An older sibling awoke to the surprise at 7:30 am and shouted the news down the hall, all came running and declared it was more exciting than Christmas morning.   

I'm still marveling.........and feel so very blessed.

A verse for the kitchen

There was a blank wall in our kitchen that was asking for something.  I searched for prints at thrift stores, browsed etsy and ebay, and even considered creating a wild collage with the whole family.  But when I read this meal time verse in Shea Darian's Seven Times the Sun I knew it was just what our wall (and family) was asking for. 

Love - feast

We gather 'round this table,

Where  bodies are renewed,

Where hearts appease their hunger,

For we feast on more than food.

Clara stayed up late and helped me with the simple process.  We used this tutorial to get started and enjoyed layering color and glaze until it looked ready for the final words.

I considered using clean stencils for the words but that seemed too sterile for the message I hoped to convey.  So I just went at it with a narrow paint brush.  It didn't turn out as clean and evenly spaced as I would have hoped but James reassured me the rawness of it is quite artistic.  And I'll add what made the final writing most difficult is the decrease of arm span from my body, it was really hard to get close to the canvas with my protruding belly in the way.

So there it is up on the wall in full view of my cooking area to remind me to add additional love to the food I prepare, cooking is more than a chore, it is an act of love.  

It sits straight faced against Paul at the head of the table as a gentle reminder that there is no place for an iphone, laptop or newspaper at the table while we are gathered.  

It tells the older boys to slow down their consumption, take a few breaths and offer a few words between bites.  

And when the younger ones complain about what is placed on the plates before them, I will read them the verse and tell them whether or not they choose to eat is their choice.  I choose not to invite that battle to our table.  

Instead I'll invite their smiles (or sometimes honest frowns) and presence because our family mealtime would not be completely nourishing without them.

Week 39

Today is my due date.  There were several evenings last week that I thought the baby may on its way but all action fizzled out by morning.  And as much as I can't wait to hold this baby I am happy for the wonderful and nourishing experiences that came my way during "the waiting".  

Krissy, an old childhood friend from San Diego flew out to visit.  Her visit has been incredible gift as we hung out in the same carefree spirit that we did as teenagers, laughing ourselves into tears.  

On one of the evenings my midwife came for a visit and they put together an impromptu gathering to celebrate this pregnancy and up coming birth.  Some call this alternative to a baby shower a "blessingway".  So we gathered the two other little women around us, Clara and Maryanna to join in the celebration.  Krissy and Maryanna prepared some rose water to set the mood and be used for pampering.  

They also made a floral wreath for me to wear, it was beautiful, and for as big as I am I felt beautiful wearing it.  We lit candles, shared a small tray of snacks and uplifting stories of motherhood and birth.  The little ones pooped out after just a few rounds of snacks and stories so they missed out on the pampering.  My midwife and Krissy offered a salt foot rub and brushed fragrant oil through my hair and I have to say as a busy mom it felt incredible to just sit and be on the receiving end.  I love that this was such a simple and spontaneous gathering, I felt more nourished and supported than I ever have before heading into any other birth.

Clara on the other hand declared that "that was the worst girl party ever, who ever heard of a little boy named Henry joining a girl party."  But what better way to celebrate motherhood than let a snugly boy fall asleep in your lap.

Krissy is a children's yoga instructor and was very generous in sharing her gift each morning with the little ones.  It was joy to observe (on a very comfy chair).  

Here is George, still recovering from last week's rash, practicing "namaste" while sitting in the baby bassinet.

He's actually been spending a lot of time in that bassinet, perhaps to remind me that he is as of now still "the baby".  Here he is flipping through the quick barn guide to birthing sheep.  

Luckily we didn't need the assistance of such a guide.  On our way out to church Sunday morning Paul went out in his suit to let out the animals.  He was breathless in his return to announce we welcomed another addition to our farm.  A baby lamb was born just that night and since the first 24 hours is so critical Paul quickly changed into farm clothes and stood watch over the little lamb.  We didn't make it to church so a few members questioned whether we were having our baby, but we answered that we were just being good shepherds watching over our one little lamb.

Here he is, the boys named him "Buckbeak" and decided this generation of lambs would all be named after Harry Potter characters.

We put a little sweater on him to keep him warm and you may notice the other ewe below, "Dulce" is looking a little red and ready.

There is something about getting together with another woman that always sparks some sort of craft or project, in this case we chose henna.  Neither of us have ever done it before but Krissy took to it like a pro painting my belly and feet.

This was an activity the girls could not resist.

They formed their own designs with a marker and we traced them with henna.  Below is Clara's design, it is a cute little duck swirling on water and should last a couple weeks.  Maryanna's is just as unique and was so pleased with it she took her boot and sock off in a restaurant to show it off to the lady at the table next to us.  

I can't say all the boys were pleased with this activity though.  James came in and asked me why I had to be so weird, he then continued with his concern about allowing girls aged 5 & 6  to participate, he thought they may get the wrong idea about defacing the body.        

Paul and I completed a few projects together as well.  We finally assembled this armoire we bought off craigs list several months ago.  The mirrors were replaced, new shelves finished and installed and then anchored to the wall.  This piece will allow for more storage as we will soon be sharing our room with another child.  I can't say that this project was fun to get done but the result is beautiful.  

The last project we did was a body cast of my belly......this was really fun and funny.  It took me awhile though to actually to accept the final result as beautiful.  For that reason I decided to keep it up above my mirrors as a reminder to celebrate my flesh and let go of any desire to be a walking skeleton.  

So now we are on to week 40, I'm not overly anxious but very uncomfortable, maybe too uncomfortable for any more projects so I look forward to either rocking a baby or a week of great netflix......

p.s. Paul just reminded me that had I not been expecting a baby this week we would at this very minute be on a plane to Maui to join in an executive retreat that his employer was hosting.  

Waiting, resting and nesting

I'm just a week away from my due date but I've learned that doesn't mean much, our babies have arrived in a range from two weeks early to two weeks late.  I'm trying to find a balance between being overly prepared and impatient, and having to frantically rush around the house unprepared in the early stages of labor. I've experienced both.  So here is a record of week 38 and how we passed the time.

The girls have kept me laughing practicing their yoga partner poses.  These are from their yoga pretzel cards  and they had me laughing even harder as they pulled out a card and suggested I attempt it with our favorite neighbor Beth who was visiting.  

  

We also visited a newborn horse at a neighboring farm.  

And gave lots of attention to this mare who is due to give birth any day now..... I felt a kinship.  

We then celebrated George's 2nd birthday.  He doesn't really look like himself with blisters still healing from the hand foot mouth virus.  He also has really puffy eyes from lack of sleep, and his lack of sleep = lack of sleep for me which put me in no mood to sew a felt birthday crown (I may let that tradition keep to itself in 2011).  Thank you Maryanna for putting the stickers and construction paper to good use!  We celebrated simply with lots of hugs and happy birthday singing.   Besides a few new trains what more could a 2 year old boy want?   

Here is a better picture taken just a week before on Peter's birthday.   This boy seems to always be in his jammies and always getting into food.  

Somewhere along the week I persuaded the boys to help me clean out the homeschool room closet.  In the process they rediscovered zometool and have been building ever since.

Maryanna's been helping me "stock" up.  We made chicken stock, beef stock, batch of falafels x4, batch of waffles x5, muffins, and ziplock baggies of rice pilaf.  And washed a lot of dishes.

Martin Luther King day was a major clean up day.  While Paul was off with the younger children at Costco the older ones helped me wash windows, scrub the tub, mop the floors and even vacuum under the beds.  Their reward was to pick out a new mural from art projects for kids, they picked Kandinsky's circles.  

I also got Paul to finally hang a pile of pictures.  I'm still waiting for the growth chart to go up and for him to also finish some shelves and put together the co-sleeper and fix the side gate..... the list could go on but there is something about the last weeks of pregnancy that really pushes projects.

 I also realized here that the younger children are unfairly represented on our wall, Henry pointed it out to me as well. 

And finally our second batch of paper whites popped.  Our first batch we planted the first week of December and I told the kids Christmas would be here when the paper whites bloomed - and it worked with perfect timing.  This second batch was planted only 3 weeks ago and I told them the baby would be here when they bloomed.  But this winter has been unusually warm and it looks like they popped before I did.  They smell yummy and it seems the girls have been keeping their room unusually tidy since they've bloomed.    

Not sure what next week holds, we've got plans but also the plan to break plans.  One thing is sure, I'm experiencing a strange aversion to the sewing machine right now so the list of sewing projects I planned to keep me busy before the baby may not happen.  Maybe it's time to pick up the knitting needles or paint brush again.........or maybe I'll just sit and do nothing.  Which might be a good idea since week 38 was pretty busy.