Farm Fashions for Spring

I never thought I'd ever be shopping for clothes at Tractor Supply.  

Paul was there a few weeks ago picking up supplies for the lambs and let me know there was a huge rack of Women's clothing on clearance.  He sifted through the racks with me on the other end at home and  my first response was "don't waste money on something I won't wear, I don't wear clothes from feed stores".  He kept insisting and since the shirts were only $7 he said he was bringing one home anyway.

Carhartts were on sale too, he knew I'd love the lined purple vest for only $14 but wasn't sure the size - I told him definitely a large.  He brought the goods home (in the same bag as the tail docking supplies) and I actually loved the fit of the button down, I liked the vest too but it was too big.  So what did I do - I sent him immediately back to pick up 3 more shirts and the vest in a smaller size.  Which brings me to confess not only did I shop for clothes at the Tractor Supply, but I sent my husband there as my personal shopper, I love that he also grabbed a pink Carhartt hoodie without even having to ask my opinion.

The rest of my look for spring was completed with the online purchase of some Rosie workwear overalls.  These are an essential part of my milking uniform (I'm still working on aim) and will be great for the garden.   The Bogs I picked up last summer on clearance at DSW a few days after securing a contract on our farm and the garden clogs were my moms that she found in an old box during her last visit to MI.

Now the last of the accessories that make this all work is the stack of folded baby wraps, only a few of will be reserved for farm and garden work because they are sure to get soiled.  

And here it is all is together on my way out for morning milking - farm wear has taken my wardrobe well beyond the usual mom wear.   It is surprisingly fun and essentially functional.  

Feeding Time

Feeding times are what rule our family's new rhythm.  It's forcing me out of bed early and demanding that everyone else is also up and playing their part.

My part has been more than demanding moving from nursing Charles, cooking breakfast, milking goats, bottle feeding baby goats and back again to nursing my own baby.  Childcare mixed with goat care is certainly an interesting process but we are smitten with these sweet animals and finding so much joy in their care.

I've already described my feelings to a few friends........I've never been more stretched and tired in all my life yet I've never been so alive.

Peter is feeding "Yagi" above and William is feeding "Sachi".  They are nicknamed the "greedies" because they finish their bottles so fast and jump all over in hopes to steal from the other two, Princess and Zara, who have a harder time taking the bottle.

Princess and Zara have been mostly successful in nursing but we like to feed a bit of the milk back to them to be sure they are getting what they need.  But getting those two to take a bottle is harder so it usually falls (literally) in my lap.

Here I am trying to make it work with Charles in a sling.  It was as awkward as it looks but Princess finally took what she needed and Charles slept through the whole process.  They may be developing a special bond to each other.

Charles cries a lot when he's not being held so sometimes it is easier to just keep him wrapped to me while I'm concentrating on goat care, even during the milkings.  But I have recently become more demanding in having the oldest brother exercise his patience in caring for a crying baby, it has been good for all of us.  James is developing the magic touch with his youngest brother and they are definitely developing a special bond.

From one feeding time.......

.....to another.

Feeding time is not just for the one offering and the one consuming, it is a peaceful time where the other younger children and other animals like to gather.  Here are a few of them not too far from my seat quietly enjoying feeding time on this unusually warm day.  I love when they are all so still and near, it is rare. 

Here is Clara and Pickles and then Henry soaking up some sun.

Off to bed, the baby goats only require 3 feedings a day but Charles is nursing round the clock every 3-4 hours so if I'm not busy feeding someone it would be wise to rest.

Guess Who?

It's Arabella, the 3 year old Nubian goat that just joined our farm this weekend.  She is here with her two babies and another doe, Yuleme, and her two babies.  Our friends needed to find an immediate home for these ladies and we were more than happy to help them out.

Of course we transported them in the back of the family van.

And my kids think the kids are irresistible.  They have named them Princess, Zara, Sachi (Japanese for bliss) and Yagi (Japanese for goat).

These animals have taken our farm experience to a whole new level, there's too much to say about that now.  So how will we manage?

With one very willing to learn and do farmer Dad.......

and a newborn baby wrapped on my back.  Let the milking adventure begin!

This Little Piggy

It feels like Spring!  Here's the happenings from this week so far:

This little piggy dug a hole



This little piggy started a water fight (in 50 degree weather)



This little piggy did laps on his bike

This little piggy hand fed some animals (and later reported that the kittens loved the deli meat she found in the fridge)

This little piggy discovered it was more fun to be barefoot outside



This little piggy played basketball



This little piggy followed his Daddy into the pasture (in his baby Carhartt's)

While the littlest little piggy wet "wha, wha, wha" then took a nap with his mommy in the sun

How to love fat

I've been itching to make butter ever since my sister in law posted about it a few weeks ago.  So we picked up some fresh cream from our cow share and were surprised at how simple the process was.

All I did was poor it into the food processor, add a bit of salt and press "on".

In less than 10 minutes I heard a sloshing sound and saw it had separated.

I poured off the liquid (buttermilk) and saved it for baking or pancakes.

Then pressed the remaining solids into a few butter jars.

Of course we spread it on warm toast right away.  And here we are only a few days later and we are already halfway through it all (maybe because I've caught a few fingers in it eating it straight?)

It is kind of funny how afraid I use to be of butter, or any fat for that matter.  But now I am in a season where fats (the good ones) are an essential part of my diet.  I'm in no place to articulate the "why's" but after reading Weston Price's Nutrition and Physical Degeneration I was convinced that I my body (and my children's) could benefit from more nutrient dense food.  And I love that one of the ways in which we do that is through butter and full fat dairy products!

In addition to butter I have been consistent in taking fish oil.  This is not as yummy as butter and actually a bit expensive but I do it as an investment in my long term health.  Not all my children will take this willing, they prefer other brands that are flavored, but George and Henry would drink this (the fermented one) straight from the bottle if I allowed them to, probably because I've been taking this since they were both very young and throughout my pregnancies.  I admit it was very hard for me to swallow at first but after a few years it is starting to taste good to me too!  They do make cinnamon and chocolate flavored variations but I prefer my fermented fish oil as is.

Now this brings me to a few more thoughts on fat.  I was changing in front of the mirror the other day and felt the corners of my mouth start to turn down to a frown, I heard the old crazy voice that existed even before I was a teenager say......"you are fat"!  The pattern is all too familiar.......it opens the door to feelings of disgust and in turn triggers the action of physically abusing myself in the form of depriving myself of food, or over exercising, or both.  

This time I fought back violently with the thought..... I am not fat, I am me.  Sure I have a bit of excess flesh after having my eighth baby but that flesh is there to serve me, it provides soft cushion to cuddle a squishy newborn and it is the very reserve that nourishes my baby, protecting me from further physical depletion.  

Why is it that we are so crazy as new mother's to "get back to normal" physically?  Maybe the "normal" I am trying to get back into (size 2 skinny jeans) is not even normal at all, maybe I am already "normal" right now and what I'm trying to get back into is "crazy". 

This may sound all too personal but it feels good to process, even if it is in front of an unknown audience.  And even if my only audience was my two little daughters I would shout it out to them from the depths of my heart and up top the high roof of our old barn because this battle is so unserving to the beautiful and powerful women it plagues.  Oh how I wish someone would have declared it to me at a much younger age, from their heart, that I was beautiful, that all women are beautiful, no matter what the shape, size or form.   

So still standing there half dressed in front of the mirror my thought process continued, it turned from beating myself up over excess flesh to the chuckling thought...."my body looks like a renaissance painting........I am a masterpiece".  What a refreshing thought, I then looked up at my pregnant belly cast and thought of all the amazing things my body was capable of, including growing a baby and giving birth.  

Our bodies are a gift no matter what the shape or size, and our worth is not dependent upon the variables of our physical form.  I can't believe it has taken me so many years to understand this truth but I do look forward to the freedom it will allow in living it.  Because the truth is this is a battle I faced even wearing size 2 jeans.

Now that doesn't mean I'll be stuffing my face with cookies and fast food because that is just another form of physical abuse.  But I will certainly eat when I am hungry and love the food that I eat, butter on my bread, whole milk in my cereal and liberal amounts of olive oil on my veggies.  And simply love being me, in any physical form, however that may look, today.          

2012 Pinewood Derby

So the Pinewood Derby crept up on us in the midst of all our lovely days of doing nothing.  I pretty much dropped the ball on all that was required of me that day including some brownies that were flopped.  In my fog I nodded to James that he could use avocado oil for baking - they were also neglected in the oven, not burned but over cooked enough that we could barely get a knife through them. So they did not make it to their spot on the refreshment table.  I already posted a pretty lengthy facebook update about it that evening but thought it might be fun to have a record of it here as well.

The cars were barely completed in time and both were still sticky in hand with paint and glue on the ride over (good thing it is a 25 minute ride).   William is a Webelo but I have yet to sew on his Wolf and Bear badge, same for Peter he's still waiting for his Bobcat badge.  At least we found the shirts!

Anyway, despite my neglect it turned out to be another exciting night of racing cars.  I stayed home with the baby but Paul was there cheering them on with Nanny and Poppy, their cousin David and all the younger siblings.  While I so enjoy assisting in the design process Paul has mastered the variables of speed.  Wiiliam once again took second while Peter was a very close third (they are still arguing over the distance "I was only a millimeter behind" - "no, you were at least a centimeter").

Here the cars are alongside the others from past years.  Most of the design inspiration has come from the Henry Ford museum and our extensive collection of matchbox cars.  Not pictured are the traditional 1/2 inch licence plates created on adobe with name, date and State.  With 6 boys now we figure we'll end up with a collection of at least 16 cars.

William's first design idea for this year's car was a Jedi star fighter but thought it would be too intricate to carve, so he settled on the streamlined winged helmet car. We were pressed for time so we skipped painting on the details and used yellow construction paper  and ModgePodge instead.

Here is Peter's car.  It has sort of a futurist body with him in driver's seat and his hen "Mendori" riding as the passenger.  He had plans to graffiti it with all sorts of symbols including pi, infinity and yin/yang.  But since we were short on time we simply glued on 3 simple stars.  You can see we didn't wait long enough for the paint to dry as it is also decorated with lots of smudgy finger prints.  But I'd say it adds to the personality of the car.

After the event Paul treated everyone to Jimmy John sandwiches.  I was already asleep by the time they got home but the boys were so excited to give the report that they ran into my room, turned on the lights and threw a wrapped Jimmy John's sandwich at me to wake me up.  Normally it irritates me to be woken up so abruptly (especially when I know I'm already heading into a night of disrupted sleep) but it was worth it to witness the triumph they were still riding, besides, nursing makes me really hungry so I gobbled down the entire sandwich before they could even get out all the details.  As trophies they each brought home a stainless steel water bottle. 

And finally, after reviewing all the photos Paul emailed me from the event I decided it was time once again to get out the hair clippers.  We just took care of that a few days ago but still in my fog I can't say the hair cuts turned out any better than the flopped brownies.  But at least hair grows and these boys aren't too fussy.......they eventually dug out all the scraps and crumbs of the brownies, consumed them with compliments and never even mentioned the missing badges from their Boy Scout uniforms.

The purpose in doing nothing

Life's been slow around here, it's been full but it's been slow.  And I'm really enjoying it.

With almost all my previous births I exerted way too much force in getting back to "normal", including squeezing myself into regular jeans prematurely and toting a newborn all around town.  Not this time, it's been a month of pj's and yoga pants with little more to do than sleep, eat and cuddle a sweet baby.

So how have we managed?  On delicious meals from friends and family, food prepared and frozen weeks in advance, boxed cereal, toast, bananas, and eggs fresh from our hens and ducks.  Paul has also played more than his regular part in the kitchen mastering omelets, apple crisp, tortilla espanola and all the dirty dishes.

I've simply been present to keep the rhythm flowing from mealtimes to playtime, go outside time and clean up and quiet times.  I've relied heavily on the older children to assist the younger ones in these processes.  The house is far from being clean, so is all the laundry, but my body has continually told me to sit, to rest and let things go...........

Including homeschool.  The older boys have continued independently on most of their subjects and have used this "vacation" to race each other once more through the Harry Potter series and now on to Lord of the Rings.  

The girls on the other hand could honestly use a lot more academic attention.  But this break from trying to teach them has allowed them the opportunity to teach me.  It has been in the soft corners of my bed that they have taught me how to watch the sun rise and snow fall.  They have shown me how to look at the moon from the eyes of a child and the significance of a lone lady bug on the window.  They have chatted about life before birth and just as care freely about life after death.  They have sung me the sweetest self composed lullabies and even offered to clean out the grim from under my nails.  I am really enjoying this time of doing nothing with my girls.   

That said, I was still a little sheepish in admitting the details of my lazy days and slow recovery to a neighbor.  But she was quick to send out an email full of support and wisdom.  The words she composed were just what I needed to hear, it is a message we rarely hear in our "get 'er done world" so I'll post it here for those who may need it just as I did.

Yes re slow recovery, I think you are just deeply needing a break after the last year and a half - so many changes, challenges, good times, triumphs.  I know it's been a wonderful, wonderful time, but hard work, good times and intense emotions wear you out just as much as their depressing counterparts.  Sometimes it doesn't catch up with you until you slow down and let it - your midwife was absolutely right to make you take a few weeks off, but I think that respite allowed your deeper need for a contemplative period to come to the surface.  I know Commander Cody says "you can't never have too much fun", but you can have too much intense activity and not enough time for your underground self to catch up.  Dr Beth prescribes lots of naps, restraining the impulse to start all the projects you've always wanted to do at once, and just drifting for a while - let the rhythm of the house, the children, the farm, Paul, the seasons, your dreams, just carry you for a while, like an otter floating on its back on the current of a river.  Sometimes more than anything else you need what my brother calls 'fire-gazing time' - your conscious self has to take some time off so that your subconscious can sort, organize, file, sift, reflect, learn, absorb, adjust.  It's a classic case of not being able to do 2 things at once. Your active self will come back online with surprising vigor when your subconscious is finished with what it needs to do - trust me.

That was a hard lesson for me to learn in my own life.  I think we tend to over-value our conscious selves and sometimes we even think that that is all we are - the conscious part.  But that is so much less than the whole, and the subconscious part has its own imperatives.  And when it has work to do it just takes the necessary time, and you suddenly find yourself spending huge amounts of time staring out the window or looking into the fire and 'not getting anything done'.  No reason to fight it - it's the place where you consolidate gains and from which you can go in new directions, and it's as necessary to our health and sanity as sleep is.

And so below I share with you a few of my favorite gazing spots.

Now this morning I thought to hop out of bed early and surprise everyone with a huge stack of hot pancakes, I actually had energy for it.  But before I could act on it Henry had tip toed to my bedside and before I could pursuade him to come down and help me Maryanna had joined us.  She was first to spot the emerging sun and together they stood pressed up against the window announcing to me the second by second movements into the sky.  That was more satisfying than hot pancakes.  That is exactly how every Sunday should begin.

And so it has been, for the past month now.  This recovery time has been so much more than simply laying around in lounge wear, it has been a month long meditation as refreshing as a month of Sundays.  And though I have nothing to show for it, I am convinced there has been great purpose in it.