Wordful Wednesday: Unity in Marriage

Unity in marriage is worth fighting for.

Just kidding - I don't think fighting ever works, that is unless of course you own a couple pairs of old boxing gloves because laughter certainly helps.

But I suppose unity may be achieved through many angles including love, laughter, affection, communication, prayer, kindness, service, and work.

Just the other night Paul brought home a brand new sectional sofa (in boxes) from IKEA, the sofa was actually a replacement for the one that snapped in half (in two places) but why it snapped and how it was resolved is for another post. Needless to say I don't know anyone who enjoys IKEA assembly - I don't even like watching the process.

Once most the kids were settled in bed Paul announced it was time to get the job done and suggested I join in. I had enough (very valid) excuses to get out of it and quickly buried myself under the covers because "I needed a quiet moment to myself" and a little bit of rest might "help take the edge off".

In most cases rest is rejuvenating but on this occasion it was not. Every time I heard a box open the thought came to me... "I should go down and help him, or at least just watch". So I did.

Baby George was still asleep at this point so I actually had two arms to chip in and did so by sorting out the cushions and slipcovers. It is actually not easy to wrap a couch in a snug fitting slipcover so together we worked pulling, tugging, and even fisting the form into proper shape.

I was then assigned to be the hardware sorter but made enough errors to be redirected to searching out some online support and instructions. By this point baby George was up and in need of some care so the last request was for me to dig through a box of old CD's and pick out a surprise, I chose Mama Mia and spent the rest of the building time nursing on a chair nearby.

Actually, I didn't make it to the end of the project but was happy to see the completed couch at 3:00 am when I came down to walk the baby. So even though I really didn't help much, working together was rejuvenating, probably more so than a nap or even a night out together.

Not too long ago I was chatting with one of my sister in laws about her and my brother fixing their dryer together. I was quite impressed with their handiness but even more impressed when she said "you know Al, that was a great moment in our marriage". Among pictures of them together on the Great Wall of China, traveling through Europe, hiking, and welcoming new babies my brother included a picture of them fixing this dryer on their wedding anniversary slide show.

Writing this post also reminds me of the afternoon I took Paul to meet my grandparents. My grandma prepared a "special" salmon lunch and while she was busy with the final condiments and dressings she sent us outside, each with a butter knife and requested that we dig out the weeds growing between the cracks in her front walk. She soon made her way out to treat us with her own version of peach lemonade then encouraged us to keep at it. Years later at our wedding lunch my grandma joyfully recalled how well we worked together on those weeds and promised us much happiness if we continued our life together in such a manner.

Unfortunately much of the work in front of us often becomes "divided" then conquered because it seems to be most efficient. But perhaps in trying to save time or just get it over with we miss out on so much more, perhaps instead we should first be "unified" then face our tasks.

I may have just cursed myself to having to help clean out the garage this next weekend but if it means increased unity - I'm in! Because work may not be romantic but it works in marriage just the same.

Unity in marriage is worth fighting working for.

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