Memorable Mother's Day

I woke up this morning to beautiful sunshine mixed with the smell of bacon.  Paul had planned a very special breakfast and James was by his side in the preparation.  I was told that James suggested Paul stick to dish washing duties because even though he was only 11, he had more experience cooking and knew just what foods I would or would not eat.  The eggs were just how I liked them, sunny side down and little runny, but it was Paul's brilliant idea to serve them with bacon and cheese on top of some garlic naan (from Deep Foods, deep in the freezer).

Maryanna presented her gift upon stumbling out of bed - keeping it from me has been torture, I've seen her wrap and re-wrap it then hide it several times throughout this past week.  It was a lovingly made hemp necklace wrapped with FIMO beads.  She made it during one of her quiet times and then baked it with the help of her older brothers.  I love the self initiation she took in the creating it and I love even more her enthusiasm in giving it - it was heartfelt.

The boys made some cards for me but they were heartfelt in a different way.  One did not even have a picture and simply read in pencil scratched handwriting:

Happy Mother's Day, you are a great mother because you try to keep us healthy.  Even though I don't like all your foods you are still a good mother.

And another winner:

Happy Mother's Day, I really think you are the world's  best mother.  You are really fun to hang out with.  I do wish that you would not get frustrated with me, but it's okay.  We all are human.

Can I admit this past week was rough?  Can I admit it was just this week that I swore at my kids for the first time?  Can I admit to also throwing my cell phone across the kitchen?  "We all are human", right?  Can I admit that as much as I cherish motherhood it is not easy?

I recognize Motherhood as a path of transformation, as I believe it has been divinely designed as such.  I also recognize there is no easy road to transformation. 

Along the path my children serve as guides and at times my mirror.  This recognition is humbling and the temptation along the way is to "beat myself up".  For me, this temptation always seems to surface right around Mother's Day and in the past I have spent many of these special days silently feeling guilty for all that I "am not" for my children.  It was the surfacing of this guilt that probably fed the rough week.  

I admit I cried and felt horrible from my boys' cards.  But that was a gift, I didn't have to spend this Mother's Day silently guilty, I could openly evaluate and voice my emotions.  Paul was kind in his reassurances but the real healing occurred as I was encircled in the warmth of love from my own mother, Paul's mother and a very dear friend.  What a blessing and support we can be to each other, us women.

My mom laughed with great heart when I read her my cards.  The first thing she said after catching her breath was, "look at that, you have taught your children great honesty".  Still uncomforted and unconvinced, she offered me this:  "I use to think I failed at times too, but it is not until you see the next generation that you can fairly judge yourself as a mother,  I am now very pleased with the way my children are raising their children".  Here is a picture of my mother on her very first mother's day, this is one of my favorites.

After chatting with my mom for a bit I felt better but getting the kids ready for church did not leave quiet space for emotional closure.  Peter could not find any clean church pants but was easily convinced to wear lederhosen by telling him that is what Presidend Utchdorf probably wore to church when he was a boy. Still, I beat myself up by saying should have finished the laundry this week.  

The girls did have clean dresses hanging but none of them were ironed.  I grabbed a pair of dresses and quickly touched them up only to meet Maryanna's refusal to wear matching dresses.  I get that, but pleaded just for this one day.  When her refusal turned to refusal of every other dress suggested I offered to blow dry her hair as a peace offering.  When she refused that I didn't beat myself up but instead threw the hair dryer to the floor so hard it busted.  Paul stepped in and somehow got her and Clara dressed in their matching dresses. 

Henry then appeared with swollen eyes from some sort of an allergic reaction.  It was decided to keep him home from church.  He played quietly beside my bed while my kind friend on the other side of the country patiently offered support on this less than special Mother's Day.  

We discussed how hard we are on ourselves as women.  Could we really accept the offering of unconditional love from those around us if we can't even offer it to ourselves?  In turn, we cannot offer out something we do not even hold ourselves.  And when we do hold this, this knowledge and recognition of who we truly are as women, why do we seek validation from outside ourselves?  These are the thoughts I was left pondering.  I did so in the face of a sun filled window on the edge of my bed.  

It was quiet, and I felt renewed and peaceful.  Henry had fallen asleep on the other side of my bed and as I stroked his back I discovered that while I was chatting with my friend he had wet my bed.  But because of my quiet meditation this episode of the day left me unmoved and I allowed him to continue sleeping.

The kids were quick to find me when they returned home from church, I received them with open arms.  A few minutes later it was discovered that little George had removed him diaper during his nap and I'm happy to report that again, I remained unmoved from my peace and that was the last misfortune of my Mother's Day.  

We loaded into the van and headed to Nanny and Poppy's house.  The boys had created some heartfelt cards for Nanny (I believe Paul had a little chat with them about card etiquette) and Paul presented his very special gift.  It was a copy of an article he recently wrote in her honor.  She was moved to tears as I was in just watching her read it.  I told her how lucky I was to enjoy the fruits of all her faithful mothering in Paul, and what a great example and support she is to me in helping me with my own children.  This she does with both her hands and her heart.  Here she is with Paul posing on the "Home Court".

Paul's mom gave me a very thoughtful card and some flowers.  But what touched me more than anything was the story she shared about the time she purposely shattered a plate of spaghetti at the dinner table out of frustration.  At that moment I felt a kinship, not just to Paul's mom, but to all women.  None of us are perfect but we are in this together.  And that is exactly why I offer the honesty of my actions and thoughts that surround this Mother's Day.  

I will no longer look at this holiday in expectation of being showered with praise, honor and gifts.  Instead, I'll watch it with honor for both the painful and blissful moments that all women have collected over the ages and not just of those who have borne and raised children.  Because motherhood is not a single journey but a banding together of all women.  And who is it that we (collectively as women) are called to raise and care for?  the world.  Because that is what we are divinely capable of.  

These are the beautiful thoughts that filled my mind while looking out the window on our long drive home.  These are the conclusions that have made this Mother's Day not special but spectacular.     

After returning home and cleaning up a small puddle of dog pee (okay only one more small misfortune of the day), I reread the cards from my boys.  I choked up on this second reading, in the realization that the love these boys offer me is unconditional, they love me in full view of my faults.  For this I will feel joy and recognize I must be doing something right as a mother, but I also recognize it took the support and strength of other women, so loving offered, to recognize this.  

To this I say Happy Mother's Day to all!    

Water Hill Music Festival

An impromptu drive after church led us to the Water Hill Music Festival.  It was kind of like trick or treating or yard saling, going house to house and following signs, but the treat and treasure was live music.  And what a treat it was, there is nothing like live music to enliven the soul.  I love the way the girls instinctively starting dancing without a trace of self consciousness, actually I'm quite jealous of that and sometimes wish I had the courage to let it out some place other than kitchen while cooking and cleaning.  

So here we are perched on some one's front lawn enjoying the beautiful day and enjoying the music.

What I love about Ann Arbor and events like these is the sense of community.  I love that we bumped into both old and new friends at this event.  Here we are around the May Pole, it was a nice tangled mess when we were through but certainly fun in both the making and untangling.

The girls had their noses down in the flowers along the way but we urged them only to pick the dandelions.  I was dripping with them around my face and in my hair before we were too many blocks into the event.

So engrossed in the music, we seemed to lose track of time and even remember that it was fast Sunday and we should have been starving.  We even forgot where we parked but didn't mind wandering around the music filled corners.  Instead we dreamed and talked as we walked, of starting our own family band, each calling out their instrument of choice after observing them in action.  

Though our home may be void of musical talent, we've now got the urge and guts to collect a few instruments to experiment and just have fun.  Thanks for inspiring us you great musicians of Water Hill!

 

A Box of Old Books

When my sister's neighbor offered up a box of old books from his childhood, she knew just the boy who would devour them.  

These books feel old and fragile, they smell a bit dusty, but we've found their content to be fresh and exciting.  James just finished My Great-grandfather and I and I could hear him laughing out loud.  I picked up The Maplin Bird just for fun and enjoyed a little escape into Essex's mid nineteenth century seacoast.  Now we are both eyeing what to grab next.

Unfortunately, my leisure reading time is limited so James is sure to blow me away and finish all of these before I get through even a few.  And if there are a few duds in the bunch?  Look what my friend Amanda does with cool old books.  

So here's to happy reading and here's the list below, has anyone else ever read or heard of any of these?  Would love to hear your reviews. 

My Great-grandfather and I, James Kruss

Visitor from the Sea, Dorothy Simpson

The Sea Wall, Eilis Dillon

Honor Sands, Mildred Lee

The and the River, Henri Bosco

Young Man from the Piedmont, Leonard Wibberley

Herbert Again, Hazel Wilson

Cook Inlet Decision, Elsa Pedersen

The Stubborn One, Rutherford Montgomery

The Minnow Leads to Treasure, A. Philippa Pearce

Copper-Toed Boots, Marguerite de Angeli

Amos Fortune Free Man, Elizabeth Yates

The Keepers of the Trail, Joseph A. Altsheler

The Town Across the Water, Madeleine Polland

The Shining Trail, Iola Fuller

Summer's Turning, Ruth Harnden

Deception at St.-Nazaire, Michel-Aime Baudouy

Sam, Barbara Corcoran

The Eyes of the Woods, Joseph A. Altsheler

The Boundary Riders, Joan Phipson

The Defender, Nicholas Kalashnikoff

Lady of Roanoke, Jean Bothwell

The Maplin Bird, K.M. Peyton

A Simple and Happy Easter

William helped me prepare a little Easter egg hunt for our family last Saturday.  The grass was sloshy and the finding went quick.  Then many muddy boot prints led to the kitchen table were the loot was opened.

We kept the candy to a minimum and instead filled the eggs with pieces to a 300 piece jig-saw puzzle.  It was a good thing all the eggs were found and a good thing no one missed all the candy.

   

 The kids were as quick and frantic about assembling the puzzle as they were in finding the eggs.  Paul noted that with so many arms reaching and grabbing this activity felt kind of like a game of Twister.  

Meanwhile, I tried to remind them of the reverence and significance of this holy holiday.  It was suggested that life, just like this puzzle can feel broken at times, this is true of all people, no one is immune to life trials that can make us feel in pieces, both physically and spiritually.  The beautiful gift of the Savior Jesus Christ, his perfect life, sacrifice and Resurrection is what allows us to become "whole" again.  This knowledge and the promise of "wholeness" is what we rejoice in and celebrate at Easter.    

There were plans for making simple Easter dresses for the girls but post-vacation-laundry-overload and a baby cutting molars prevented me from constructing even the simplest of dresses.  The simple solution was to wear the dresses from two years ago.   Somehow they still fit - though Maryanna refused to wear the puffy slip insisting she had out grown "fluffiness".   Either way, I love how beautifully the girls are growing into themselves.

After church we were treated to a feast at Nanny and Poppy's house.  The kids enjoyed another egg hunt with their cousins and we were sent home with enough goodies and delicious leftovers to feed us for days.  I love that about holidays.

We were also sent home with some very happy and tired little children.  But what made this Easter so happy for me was keeping it simple.  

First attempt at Pho

I've been thinking about Pho ever since I made Nary's spring rolls, I've also been thinking about and missing my friend Nary.  Then a funny thing happened last Saturday night, her son posted on facebook that they had just arrived in Florida.  It was only a slight detour on our journey home that allowed us to meet up with them!  That was one of the highlights of my trip.

Here is Nary, this is exactly how I remember her, holding a baby and cooking piles of yummy food.  I honestly don't think I know a kinder woman.

Here's Jim and Paul laughing about the good ole Philly days.

And here is Nary's latest variation to the spring roll, Philly Cheese Steak rolls!  They are filled with thinly sliced steak, fresh jalapenos and velveeta cheese. 

Jim and Nary were visiting Jim's parents in FL.  Jim's mom is from Vietnam so I carefully took note of the pho instructions they both so willingly shared.

Now after a quick trip to the Asian market I was ready to give it a go.  Here's what I picked up:  fish sauce, hoisin sauce (both msg free), rice noodles (I like the thick ones), basil, cilantro, bean sprouts, beef sliced paper thin, jalepenos and lime.

Start with some good beef bones, tail, knuckles, whatever.  Be sure to boil them for a few minutes to remove the blood and other yucky stuff.   Discard this water and rinse the bones.

Toast some spices including cinnamon stick, anise, coriander and cloves

Brown up an onion, some garlic, and ginger, Nary says this makes all the difference.  Throw it in the crock pot with the meat, toasted spices, carrot, celery, cilantro, peppercorns, and a bit of sugar.  

Nary also adds beef bouillon to hers but I could not find one without msg at the Asian market, I added a few splashes of fish sauce instead.  I also added one of these packs that Jim's mom gifted to me.

This was all set on low over night in crock pot and by morning the house smelled so yummy (well at least it did to me).  I couldn't wait until dinner so I served myself the first bowl for lunch. 

Start with the cooked rice noodles then ladle in the hot broth. 

Drop the thinly sliced beef in raw, the hot broth will cook it.  Top with fresh bean sprouts, fresh cilantro, fresh basil, carrots, daikon radish, a few squeezes of lime and a squirt of hoisin.  Here it is again

It did hit the spot but I can't say it turned out perfect, I've got to work out some kinks with the noodle texture and perfect broth temp.  I also can't say anyone else in my family was excited about it either, they were willing, just not ready, the flavor was like nothing they had tried before.  I was hoping they would take to it like tortilla soup but they didn't, maybe I'll try in again in few months or just wait for Nary to visit and show me her secrets in action.

On a side note I'd like to add that Asian markets are a great place to shop - look what I picked up for $6.99

Road Trip Souvenirs

It is family road trip tradition to stop through college towns, Paul tells me it has been so for generations. So instead of tourist T-shirts from Florida my boys are home wearing their wears from a few of our stops.  

First stop, University Southern Florida, James is wearing their hat and Henry got a shirt.

Next stop, Georgia Tech, it was 11:30 pm when we made this stop and all the bookstores were closed.  The next best thing was a T-shirt from the landmark hot dog stop The Varsity.  

All were sleeping when we passed through Tennessee but we hit University of Kentucky right at 8:00 am when the bookstores opened.  Peter and William each got a shirt.

Last stop was Bowling Green where Peter picked out a hat and William got a shirt.

These boys will always be die hard Michigan fans but at least this tradition has brought some colorful variation to their head to toe Michigan wardrobes.

Sunburn Relief

We should have eased ourselves into the sun on our first day at the beach, but that is hard to do when you are having fun.  Even with high SPF and rash guards we all suffered some degree of sunburn.  I especially feel guilty about little George, he was well covered except right around his eyes, I figured he'd be in the shade under the umbrella most the day (which he was) with a hat on and I didn't want to risk him rubbing sunblock into his eyes.  But I under estimated the intensity of the reflective sand.  A week later he still has raccoon eyes.

He doesn't look happy here but the sunburn actually didn't bother him as much as it bothered the older kids.  For some reason the sunblock did not hold strong on the back of their legs and they were fried to the point of immobility.  

I put aloe on their burns but it wasn't as soothing as I hoped.  My sister in law Kaley soaked some wash cloths in apple cider vinegar and placed them on the boys legs - it stung for a bit but did offer a little relief.

I also emailed Linda Diane Feldt, a practitioner from MI and here is her response: 

A compress of stinging nettles infusion would be safe and soothing. 
Urtica is the latin. If there was a health food store with stinging 
nettles just make a tea steeped at least 20 minutes, 3 hours would be 
better, and put it on a cloth.
Aloe - straight gel - would be safe and soothing.
Burdock leaf is what you are thinking of. It does seal in bacteria, 
but will also provide instant relief for a burn. Mash the leaf, 
chewed or crushed, and apply. Not sure if they have burdock growing 
there, and you won't find the leaf in a store. Only the root will be 

sold. 

I never did venture out to try her suggestions beyond aloe, I just couldn't find a convenient health food store.  But next time we're off on a sun adventure I'll not only prepare with more careful sunblock but also a few herbs on hand.