Up Close on the Farm

An unexpected gift came my way a few weeks ago.  Paul's parents were cleaning out a closet and found two Cannon lenses that they used years ago for catching close ups of their boys playing sports.  They have no use for them now and asked if I was interested in them.  I tried them out and sure enough they worked on my digital SLR!

I admit I lack technical skill with the camera but sometimes I get lucky with a moment.  For that reason I enjoy taking photos and always have my camera near by.  And there has certainlybeen no shortage of spontaneous picture moments this spring.

Rest in Peace Pickles

We experienced a sore tragedy on our farm yesterday; I'm sorry to report that our favorite barn cat Pickles got hit by a car.   

He was the first animal we got after moving to the farm.  He was a great hunter and would often leave "gifts" for Paul in bucket of his tractor.  



Pickles liked to sneak into visitors' cars.  I had to warn anyone leaving to check their car for a gray furry cat.  When the cable internet guys were here Pickles took a rest on top of the roof of their van.  While backing up Paul had to flag them down to rescue Pickles. 

Most memorable was catching him walk the barn roof over 25 feet from the ground.

He was a faithful hunter and faithfully affectionate to any child passing by.

The kids liked to sneak him in their beds at night but he was kind of a mangey cat and now I'm sorry for all the times I chased him out of the house.



After Paul had come in and announced the discovery I was pig piled by 5 wailing children.  I too was crying.

The younger ones didn't take it as hard. George said to me, "it's okay Mommy, you can sing a song and he will be alive again".  

The kids gave him their last pets and we offered a proper burial. 
  

We had plans for a full day of work but it seemed we were all a bit lost from the loss.  We sang some hymns and Paul reminded us all of the eternal nature of our spirits, even that of animals.

Feeling grateful for the way this loving creature touched our lives. 

The Magic of Morning Music

As the season has shifted so has our daily routine.  It seems the simple shinning of the sun has become an instant invitation to abandon whatever work we should be doing inside and by 8 am half the household has found their way to "free play" outside. It has been hard to wrangle them back in because I too want play.  There have been more than a few days where no books were cracked and a whole day's dishes have been left till 10:30 pm, all for the sake of outdoor fun.

So now I am hearing the call back to establishing a rhythm and routine.  Here's how I'd like our mornings to go:

6:00 am I'm up and tip toe into personal study time

6:30 am quiet exercise or project time

7:30 am kids wake up/personal prayers/make beds/tidy rooms/get dressed - I do meal prep for breakfast, lunch and dinner

8:00 am family scripture study

8:30 am breakfast

9:00 am milking/farm chores/breakfast clean-up

9:30 am house chores

10:00 am morning meeting with mom to report what was done and discuss plans for the day

10:30 am play outside or organized project outside

12:00 pm lunch

Oh how easy it looks on paper!  The reality is it is not easy to gain full cooperation, and it only takes the resistance of one individual to throw us 2 hours behind.  

I've tried yelling in the past, it does get us all moving but not necessarily in the right direction.  We've tried many different reward systems as well, they work for a time and always seem to fizzle out.  Right now though I am reminded of the magic of morning music, of setting a tone for the day.  I've found with just the right music our chores can be fun.     

Lately the kids have been responding well to modern remakes of Elvis songs from the  Honeymoon in Vegas soundtrack.   I tell them once the rooms are cleared and swept they can have a rock party.  I can't say this works for the older batch, they only roll their eyes and plug their ears at my singing into the broom.  But keeping the younger kids happy (if not helping) while we clean is nearly half the chore.  

Other album favorites include Putumayo World playground, Elizabeth Mitchell, Kodo drummers, Heather Forest, and Frankie Smith's Double Dutch Bus.  The mix is as eclectic as our personalities, moods and moves!

A smooth morning is a gift, oh the possibilities for our day!

12:30 pm we clean up lunch and move into quiet time/naptime for the youngest

1:00 pm- 4:00 pm is school time and what that means is different for each individual.  For me I am attending to my crash courses in farming and gardening, drifting around helping and shushing and sometimes napping with the younger ones.

4:00 pm certainly deserves a snack and for those who have completed their school work the invitation is open to free play or DIY projects inside or out- and of course the invitation is always open to help me in the garden 

5:30 pm is dinner prep

6:00 pm dinner

6:30 pm baths and clean up

7:00 pm bedtime for youngest three

8:00 pm bedtime for the next three

9:00 pm tuck in animals and milking

9:30 pm bedtime for the oldest two (but sometimes we hang till 10 pm eating ice cream and talking) I use to beg them to go to sleep but these days I beg them to "hang out" just a little bit longer

10:30 pm hopefully I'm not facing a days worth of dishes, or worse, lost in the land of pinterest - hopefully I'm tiptoeing into bed

These days are moving fast, sunset comes at us quick and it seems my children are taller every day. May these containers of time I wish to create be blessed with cooperation and music, and when they are not, may I relax into the experiences life wishes to offer.   

A day of work and an unlikely dinner hit

It was a beautiful day! Here's how we spent it.

By the time all were hungry I wasn't sure there was anything left in me to cook, simply lifting a wooden spoon felt like a chore; and the fridge was running on empty as well.  

Luckily on the stove I already had some simmering broth, in the fridge I found a bowl of leftover rice and the last of some whipping cream.  In the pantry was stored some dehydrated onions and the last of last year's garlic.  The real prize to this meal though was the nettles in the garden!  I threw it all together and sprinkled it with fresh nutmeg with out a care of what the response from my customers would be.

It proved to be a hit!  Some pretended not to like it but I caught them serving up more than two bowlfuls.  And Charlie out of no where cried out "yummy, yummy"!  

DIY-ing

Lately our family has been immersed in DIY projects.  It seems thereis no end to the ideas.  Here are some of the recent ones:

 "The sheet castle"  

"The castle jail"

 Peter's field goal post

A book Maryanna wrote for Henry's birthday

A cherry bowl Paul turned at a friend's house with William and Peter

Clara made this small ball out of scraps and tape and Peter knitted these animals.  They were presented to Henry on his birthday.

In addition to the gifts above Paul and the older boys made this see saw for Henry's birthday.  The plans are from Ana White

We all painted it the day of his birthday

Here is our garden starting project with the newspaper cups the kids rolled

 And here is George (again, absolutely no clothes) planting his bush beans in the front yard.  He's been carrying those seeds around with him since Paul's parents gave them to him on Monday.  Kind of like Johnny Apple seed he's been scattering them all over. 

I don't have much to show for myself.  I did have a project planned for Henry's birthday but never got around to finishing it.  Too busy cleaning up everyone else's DIY's!

19 baby chicks and ice cream at midnight

This box of chirping chicks arrived early Monday morning and that day proved to be full.

We've never ordered chicks before.  Our first batch of chickens were picked up on Craig's list and then after we had the rooster we had a few chicks raised by the hens Mendori and Cupcake.

For this batch I let each child select one breed. We ordered 2 Delawares, 2 White Wyandottes, 2 White Orpingtons, 4 Black Australorps, 2 Buff Cochins, 2 Buff Laced Polish, 1 Dorking, 1 Phoenix, 1 Cuckoo Maran, 1 Easter Egger and 1 mystery chick. 

This was something new; it was an exciting package for us all!

 First each chick was given a dip of fresh water.

And then a hug.........

and many threatening squeals from this baby with a found toothbrush.

Aside from the baby, I believe my children are mastering the art of quiet observation; and oh how I love to catch them in this state.

Now for the rest of the story.  

I wasn't exactly ready for the chicks the morning they arrived.  I thought I selected "the week of April 29", not early morning April 29.  I thought I'd have more time to get totally ready for them.  We were lucky to pull it all together with some second hand brooding supplies just before it was time to milk.  

I was not careful enough in studying the appropriate bedding for baby chicks.  The package of cedar chips waiting in the tack room was from an experienced chicken keeper so I did not think twice. 

A neighbor was by to visit the chicks and had some concern with the use of them, I reassured her it was fine and finished out the day.  By midnight her concern was haunting me; I visited the little chicks and they did seem stressed.  I picked up a couple of my chicken books and sure enough in italics I read cedar chips are toxic to chicks! 

Paul was out of town and I was not in the mood to fix this problem on my own so I tiptoed to the bed of the boy who loves chickens the most.  I whispered, "William, William I need some help with the chicks".  He just grunted so I pleaded again.  Still no response so I said, "Hey William, I was wondering if you'd like to share a bowl of ice cream with me".  He lids immediately lifted.  

Down in the kitchen I explained the situation as I scooped the ice cream.  We discussed possible solutions and decided to get some straw instead and lay an old towel on top. Then as we were moving them over we discovered more than half of them had compacted poop under their feathers; perhaps they were eating the cedar chips or maybe it was just due to the stress of them.  

One by one we picked them up and with a package of baby wipes wiped their tiny bums.  A few were harder than others and we had to gently tear some feathers away.  Just the thing I'd like to be doing at 12:30 am.  

The crazy thing about exposed skin on the chicks is it causes the other chicks to peck at it.  So the thought came to me to look for some comfrey in the garden, it would both distract the chicks and assist in healing the wounds.

I've never been in the garden at 1 am and experienced a whole new perspective.  The night was clear and William and I took the opportunity to observe the sky.  Did you know there is something about star gazing that freezes time?  We soon remembered the chicks, fed them the comfrey, treated them to a spray of rescue remedy and they soon dropped in a pile of sleep.

William and I soon found our ways back to our pillows as well, but before parting I hugged him so tight and thanked him for his willing hands here on the farm, he returned the hug and thanked me for the ice cream.

Just yesterday I shared this story with a friend, I wondered openly if I was taking on too much, this I did as I was loading 8 of my own children and 2 little goat kids into the van.  With a sparkle in her eye she reached her arms to the sky and declared "this is experience! And what a blessing it is". 

Peace making

To my dear friends, old friends and friends I've never met, thank you so much for all your kind words and support in response to my last post.  My journey here on the farm feels far less lonely knowing that in some ways you may be walking along.  And so I share the continuation of this week's story.

I regret to say that I was unable to hold clarity for most of the week.  I experienced a dark cloud and many tears as I processed the unkind message that was conveyed to me.  I do not blame the individual who spoke the words because his words would have held no power if I did not already believe them somewhere within myself.

I struggled openly in front of my family, they heard me cry and even scream out that "if that neighbor showed up on our property I was going to throw a brick at his head".  I went through many moments of blaming Paul for all the visible imperfections and unfinished projects around the property.  I openly questioned, with all the demands the farm presents, if it was sustainable for us to even live here.

This was an opportunity for self reflection and finding peace within myself.  This process of soul work is not always easy and automatic, it takes honesty and focus and it is work.  This is where one may draw much strength from the foundation of a disciplined spiritual practice.  Before making peace with anyone else I had to make peace with myself.  

I let more than a few meals slide, spent more time with the goats than usual and let the kids watch movies as I retreated to quiet corners of our home for solace.

Little by little I regained my shine.  However, every time I looked out my window in the direction of our neighbor my stomach would turn.  I wondered what really happened and why it happened, I wondered if they knew how bad I was hurting and if we'd ever talk again.

Somewhere in the middle of the night the message came clearly to me, you may pray for peace and you may preach of peace but one must practice peace.  I knew it was time for me to build a bridge of peace towards my neighbor.  

This would be a courageous move.  I feared another verbal attack, I feared that if I spoke so honestly and vulnerably that I'd be accused of emotional instability or hormonal imbalance.  I moved through the fear and with heart pounding made my way to their porch.

When I was greeted at the door I stayed focused on my heart's intent and simply stated that I was there to make peace.  I melted into the embrace of the wife who was too sick to stand in my defense the night I visited.  She then said she'd been having nightmares about us moving and so didn't want us to move.

I then met eyes with the offender.  I again told him how bad his words had hurt me, I told him I had once been called a failure by my viola teacher when I was 12 years old and soon after quit the viola.  I told him over the course of the last couple days I considered quitting farming, but decided instead to let go of my attachment to the outcome.

Our intention for living on the farm goes far deeper than the food we are trying to produce.  We are here to nurture connections, connection to our Creator, connection to ourselves, connection within our family and certainly connection to our neighbors and community.  

With glossy eyes I told them how much I appreciated the generosity they have shown our family and how much I dearly loved them.  And I have to say this is not a conversation or opening one often has with a neighbor, it may have felt a bit awkward for them.  For me though I just went with the honesty that was within me, I stayed focused on my heart's intent of making peace.

And peace was made.  

I also shared with them the outburst I had about throwing the brick and apologized for such a violent suggestion.  They laughed and on the way out they led me to their brick pile just in case I ever needed one. 

I embraced both of them before heading home and felt a lightness that is hard to describe.

I honestly can't remember if an exact apology was made, it didn't matter because I had truly forgiven the individual and the weight of the experience had miraculously been lifted.  

I wonder now of many past experiences that still fester within me at times.  The numerous times I chose to avoid conflict instead of resolving conflict.  

Yes, resolving conflict can be uncomfortable but nothing more could be so healing. So grateful for all this experience has taught me.